What a rollercoaster I've been on
This last week has been pretty emotional for me. Last Tuesday I went out to Murhpys which is way out in the middle of nowhere east of Stockton about 150 miles from Mountain View. My friend Dave drove and we got a lot of views of open country, two lane roads and cows with no civlization in sight for miles. It was actually a very nice drive. Anyway, I went out there to adopt a dog named Toby. Toby is the perfect dog. I mean the PERFECT dog. Totally trained, smart and cute as can be. I picked him up and took him home. Then Doggy ownership shock set in.
Boy was I a mess from Tuesday til Sunday. A mess! Basically I got Toby, started taking him to work. Freaked out at every little thing he did, not sure if I could deal. Generally speaking owning a dog is a HUGE lifestyle change and I was in shock at the fact that I was now responsible for this little guy for the next 15 years of his life. My cat wasn't super pleased either but she was adjusting. To top it all off my boyfriend who I spend weekends with at his home in Santa Cruz won't let me bring the dog with me to his home. I got overwhelmed, I freaked, I called the woman back, (she was holding my check for a week) and told her due to the cat and dog relations I had to give him up. I drove out and met her in Tracy on Sunday and relinquished the dog. Now ever since I did that I totally regret it. I didn't give it enough of a chance and I completely regret the decision I made. Basically I gave him up thinking that I could one day be a bad dog owner that maybe one day I might not care of his needs when he needed it. Call it a fear of commitment if you will.
The stupid part of this whole thing is that I CAN do it. I just freaked. I mean I've had Olivia, my cat, for 10 years and she's great. Anyway, to make this long story short I wrote a very heartfelt email back to the foster mom (who's out of town for two days) begging for a second chance. I told her the cat and dog relations situation could be worked out (add embelished story here) and that I'd do just about anything to have that little guy back. The truth of the matter is that I became utterly attached to him. I fell in love with him in 5 days and I feel like I just had a horrible breakup and I'm never going to see the other person again. It's just awful. I'm ashamed of myself for freaking like I did and I'm hoping I'll get that second chance. If I don't its my own darn fault and I'm sure he'll go to a great home anyways. I'm an idiot though. I just have to get that all out.
So wish me luck and let's hope this all works out for the best and I don't wind up regretting my stupid stupid freak out mistake.
Boy was I a mess from Tuesday til Sunday. A mess! Basically I got Toby, started taking him to work. Freaked out at every little thing he did, not sure if I could deal. Generally speaking owning a dog is a HUGE lifestyle change and I was in shock at the fact that I was now responsible for this little guy for the next 15 years of his life. My cat wasn't super pleased either but she was adjusting. To top it all off my boyfriend who I spend weekends with at his home in Santa Cruz won't let me bring the dog with me to his home. I got overwhelmed, I freaked, I called the woman back, (she was holding my check for a week) and told her due to the cat and dog relations I had to give him up. I drove out and met her in Tracy on Sunday and relinquished the dog. Now ever since I did that I totally regret it. I didn't give it enough of a chance and I completely regret the decision I made. Basically I gave him up thinking that I could one day be a bad dog owner that maybe one day I might not care of his needs when he needed it. Call it a fear of commitment if you will.
The stupid part of this whole thing is that I CAN do it. I just freaked. I mean I've had Olivia, my cat, for 10 years and she's great. Anyway, to make this long story short I wrote a very heartfelt email back to the foster mom (who's out of town for two days) begging for a second chance. I told her the cat and dog relations situation could be worked out (add embelished story here) and that I'd do just about anything to have that little guy back. The truth of the matter is that I became utterly attached to him. I fell in love with him in 5 days and I feel like I just had a horrible breakup and I'm never going to see the other person again. It's just awful. I'm ashamed of myself for freaking like I did and I'm hoping I'll get that second chance. If I don't its my own darn fault and I'm sure he'll go to a great home anyways. I'm an idiot though. I just have to get that all out.
So wish me luck and let's hope this all works out for the best and I don't wind up regretting my stupid stupid freak out mistake.
