Dating Sucks
So I have this friend, who's name I won't mention, who dates a lot of women in the bay area. So one time he was dating this woman for awhile who was okay but not really what he was looking for. They had fun together though I guess. I can't recall how long he said they dated but at some point he decided that he just wasn't really into her that much. This is of course after all the fooling around etc. So one day he stops returning her calls... and then she stops calling. He told me that it was cool of her to get the hint right away and not continue to push the envelope by calling.
I have another friend, a girl who's name I won't mention also, who dated a guy she met online for about 6 weeks, I believe. Then one day he stopped returning her calls. She kept trying to get ahold of him though and she eventually did. I think the gist of what he told her at that point was that he figured she would have gotten the message that he didn't want to see her anymore by the fact that he hadn't bothered to call her.
I think 9 out of 10 guys in the bay area want one thing, S-E-X. A girl friend of a friend has a rule where she won't go all the way with a guy until after 90 days. I think she has a 30 day and 60 day rule as well but I'm forgetting it right now. Now this is smart in my opinion. What better way to weed a player out then to make him wait 90 days for it. Of course in this day and age women are just as capable of loving and leaving as men are but I think it's a bit harder. I know I tend to get attached sometimes even when I don't want to or I know I shouldn't. Then again I've always loved a challenge.
What I don't get is why can't men just say, "look it was fun but I'm not interested" or just a plain old "hey, I'm not interested". I know men are afraid women are going to freak out on them but some contact would be nice, even a polite email would do. Although a brush off email, letter or phone call can suck too. Take the friend I mentioned in my first story... he went out with a girl for 6 months and fearing how much she would freak out on him proceeded to break up with her by mailing her a letter! He dropped her off with a bye see you later then went home, wrote a letter, mailed it to her and never talked to her again. I'm sure he's going to kill me for writing all this in my blog but hey, I didn't mention any names.
Another guy I knew that played women would excuse his behavior by saying that women in SF had "issues" so therefore they weren't worth having relationships with. My girl friend's retort to that was, "Who do you think caused us to have issues in the first place?!". I've had my own fair share of experiences with men like this. I liked a certain guy once a couple of years ago who stated often that he did not like to date and preferred to remain alone. Of course after we hooked up I found out he was dating up to two other women and none of them knew about each other. Ugh. I could go on forever with stories like this, but I think you get the point.
My friend Jenn recommended a book on her blog the other day that I've ordered from Amazon. It's called, Urban Tribes. Here's a brief caption: "If you're between 25 and 39, single and a college-educated city dweller, you have been identified by the U.S. Census Bureau as one of the fastest-growing groups in America – the "never marrieds". Upon realizing he and his friends had been labeled, Watters set out to investigate, finding that to fill the gap of time young people spend in between families, they have created a new type of community: urban tribes."
I'll be sure to post my thoughts on it once I've read it. Of course I have to finish reading the latest Harry Potter first. :)
I have another friend, a girl who's name I won't mention also, who dated a guy she met online for about 6 weeks, I believe. Then one day he stopped returning her calls. She kept trying to get ahold of him though and she eventually did. I think the gist of what he told her at that point was that he figured she would have gotten the message that he didn't want to see her anymore by the fact that he hadn't bothered to call her.
I think 9 out of 10 guys in the bay area want one thing, S-E-X. A girl friend of a friend has a rule where she won't go all the way with a guy until after 90 days. I think she has a 30 day and 60 day rule as well but I'm forgetting it right now. Now this is smart in my opinion. What better way to weed a player out then to make him wait 90 days for it. Of course in this day and age women are just as capable of loving and leaving as men are but I think it's a bit harder. I know I tend to get attached sometimes even when I don't want to or I know I shouldn't. Then again I've always loved a challenge.
What I don't get is why can't men just say, "look it was fun but I'm not interested" or just a plain old "hey, I'm not interested". I know men are afraid women are going to freak out on them but some contact would be nice, even a polite email would do. Although a brush off email, letter or phone call can suck too. Take the friend I mentioned in my first story... he went out with a girl for 6 months and fearing how much she would freak out on him proceeded to break up with her by mailing her a letter! He dropped her off with a bye see you later then went home, wrote a letter, mailed it to her and never talked to her again. I'm sure he's going to kill me for writing all this in my blog but hey, I didn't mention any names.
Another guy I knew that played women would excuse his behavior by saying that women in SF had "issues" so therefore they weren't worth having relationships with. My girl friend's retort to that was, "Who do you think caused us to have issues in the first place?!". I've had my own fair share of experiences with men like this. I liked a certain guy once a couple of years ago who stated often that he did not like to date and preferred to remain alone. Of course after we hooked up I found out he was dating up to two other women and none of them knew about each other. Ugh. I could go on forever with stories like this, but I think you get the point.
My friend Jenn recommended a book on her blog the other day that I've ordered from Amazon. It's called, Urban Tribes. Here's a brief caption: "If you're between 25 and 39, single and a college-educated city dweller, you have been identified by the U.S. Census Bureau as one of the fastest-growing groups in America – the "never marrieds". Upon realizing he and his friends had been labeled, Watters set out to investigate, finding that to fill the gap of time young people spend in between families, they have created a new type of community: urban tribes."
I'll be sure to post my thoughts on it once I've read it. Of course I have to finish reading the latest Harry Potter first. :)
