Fish Sticks and Green Jello

It's my mission to move this sucker over to movable type. I just have to motivate myself to do it. MOTIVATE! I've been working mad, crazy hours at work the last week plus. I even had to come in on a Saturday, *gasp*! Okay honestly, this is NOTHING compared to when I worked at a startup so I can't really do the poor me thing here. At least I'm getting work done. This is a good thing. The more work I do the more accomplished I feel and the more deserving of a vacation I think am. Or so I say.

Anyways, nothing new on my front other than work, cleaning the heck out of my house and mourning the end of Sex and the City. I'm still planning on going to Paris in June. Looks like a friend is going to be able to meet me there which is fabulous. My insominia has been getting the better of me for months now so I finally called my doctor for another prescription of Ambien, which hasn't worked. They had to double my dose. If that doesn't work then who the heck knows what my problem is. I don't even drink caffeine!

Yes yes boring post. Just posting to let people know I'm still alive.

I stayed up late and watched a lot of TV to finally finish this tonight. Of course I didn't leave work til 10pm so it was a late night all around. I'm not sure what the best way to take a picture of something oval and somewhat flat is, but here you go!

Introducing the Stitch n' Bitch Princess Snowball Cat Bed!


Olivia enjoying her new bed (hopefully).

I found this link via Edna Million's Blog and the Mommy Blog. It's frickin' hiliarious! Just in case the the cragistlist post expires I'm copying and pasting it here for your reading enjoyment. I'll never look at a spatula the same again. :)

RAVE: The Spatula Saga has got to go on Best of...

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Reply to: anon-23392921@craigslist.org
Date: Thu Jan 29 17:01:05 2004


This Spatula Saga is the funniest thing ever... but how ever will we log it for posterity onto Best of Craigslist? I don't think anybody here wants to vote for every single entry.

Therefore, I present a 'highlights' reel of sorts... vote away!

It all started with this poor girl's story -- unfortunately, she's probably dead serious:

My Boyfriend is Really Mean to Me
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Date: 2004-01-29, 9:50AM PST
Whenever I make my boyfriend mad (which is a lot), he hits me. Specifically, he hits me on the nose. With a spatula. I don't know how it all started, but the first time I really remember it, we were hanging around the store his parents own, and he was staring at me angrily and then he said, "You know what really bugs me about you?" and I said, "No...what?" and he said "The way you chew your gum." I thought that was rude, so I told him so, and he got up and left. He came back a couple of minutes later and without any warning hit me in the nose with a spatula he got from the back of the store.

I was in shock, being that no boyfriend has ever hit me for any reason, much less for the way I chew gum. He eventually apologized and blamed it on the fact that he was tired. I let it go (I know, I shouldn't have). Ever since then, every time he is "tired" or "hungry" or "stressed", if I do any little thing, he gets pissed and hits me with the spatula. I don't know why he uses a spatula, but that's what he does. He always has it with him now. The littlest things piss him off - the way I chew, the way I laugh, if I ask for sex too much, if I don't let him take a nap... and every time he gets mad, it's the spatula for me. It makes me feel like a puppy getting hit in the nose with a newspaper.

He always apologizes and says he will stop and for me to please give him another chance, and he will do good for awhile and then he smacks me again. I'm not really looking for advice, I'm just wondering if any other guys smack their girfriends with spatulas. Or did I find the only freak in America? Thanks.


Of course, the clever Craigslist community just could not let this one go unnoticed:

re: My boyfriend is really mean to me
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Date: 2004-01-29, 9:59AM PST
Please tell me you aren't serious. Please tell me that you would never let a man disrespect you that way. He obviously looks at you like a pet. How could you let that happen? A spatula? My god. How old are you? What happened to you that you would tolerate this??? A fucking spatula. Holy shit.


your boyfriend isn't nice to you
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Date: 2004-01-29, 10:24AM PST
The only time being hit by a spatula is ok is when it's during sex and he's smacking your ass with it. Get a grip you dumb, dumb person.


My boyfriend is mean to me too!
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Date: 2004-01-29, 10:37AM PST
Mine doesn't hit me with a spatula though. His choice of kitchen utensil is an immersion blender. When he is really pissed he will plug it in and poke me in the nose. Damn that smarts! After that I be good.


What is all this spatula nonsense??
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Date: 2004-01-29, 1:23PM PST
Don't women have an ounce of sense anymore?? Never will a spatula cross my nose. That is so ridiculous, I want to smack that girl with a spatula myself. Who allows someone to do that? You are just truly dumb. You'd think that spatula would have smacked some sense into you by now. WOMEN SHOULD NOT BE HIT WITH SPATULAS. Or anything for that matter. Geez people. I'm appalled.


And as the next posters prove, it isn't called RANTS and raves for nothing...

HEY SPATULA GIRL, i love you
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Date: 2004-01-29, 10:52AM PST
i have been searching my entire life for a girl that would LET me beat the shit outta her with anything, i personally have never hit a girl, or guy for that matter, but only because i find it senseless and morally wrong. but if i could find a girl that would not only tolerate it but enjoy it enough to brag about it to strangers, fuck me, i'm in love
course dating me might be a little too much for your poor pathetic ass, cuz if i'm gonna hit anyone with anything it wouldnt be a little bitty wooden spoon, i'd break a fucking shovel over your head and bury your stupid ass with it

so do the world and favor, cut off his dick, force feed it to him with the spatula and promise us you will never ever breed.

thanks, call me


re: mean Spatula-wielding boyfriend
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Date: 2004-01-29, 10:52AM PST
I'm going to have to agree with all the guys on this one....your boyfriend is trying to help you, and you should thank him. Most men would have moved on after you started snapping your gum, but your man chose to stick it out and train you in the right ways. It's out of love that he is disciplining you. Women are like dogs, the quickest way for them to learn something is with a little swat. We aren't talking abuse here, just a smack to get their attention and wake them up to the correct behavior. A man that didn't really love you wouldn't take the time to use the spatula. He is showing you that he is in for the long haul. Go give him a thank you blow job right now and let him know how much you appreciate his teaching. I don't use a spatula, I use an electrical cord, but a spatula is a good idea. Thanks for the hint Spatula Guy.


RE: My boyfriend is really mean to me
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Date: 2004-01-29, 10:56AM PST
uhhmm...what store do his parents own? maybe I could meet you there some time. me and him could have a spatula fight. I'll have him wimpering and pissing the floor before you can say "honey pancakes are done".


Spare the Spatula...
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Date: 2004-01-29, 11:00AM PST
and spoil the girlfriend, I say.


One brave poster claims to actually BE the spatula-wielding fiend...

RE: My boyfriend is so mean (I'M THE BOYFRIEND)
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Date: 2004-01-29, 11:30AM PST
Okay honey, its on. When I get home, I'm going to empty the fucking utensil drawer. I cannot believe you told people about the spatula. I am so pissed.

I smack her with a spatula. It's funny. She "claims" she hates it, but she knows that is the only way to keep her in check. She smacks her gums like she's 80. So fucking annoying. I smack her, and it keeps her in check.

I kinda like it. Im not a control freak, but truly, she needs the help.

Besides I don't think people on Craig's List should even give a shit. If I want to smack her, I will. So, tough guys, come on, send me the hardass emails now. Fuck you. I will do what I want. And she will continue to stay with me. Spatula or not.


... While others just get inspired

Spatulas - Cool! or not?
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Date: 2004-01-29, 12:39PM PST
Thanks for the "spatula" tip! I went home and used this same technique on my wife. I just knew it was the thing to do! This is going to solve all my problems!

At least that's what I thought. However, I have a much different perspective now that I'm in the hospital having the spatula removed from my ass!!!!


Then, in a weird non-sequiter that can only be described as 'craigslist-ian,' someone entwines an entirely different thread to the discussion, bringing the overall commentary to dizzingly new and creative heights:

RE-Should I poo on my girlfriend?
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Date: 2004-01-29, 1:31PM PST
Yes you should. Women love being pooped on. After you poop on her, flip the poop over with your spatula, then hit her on the nose with it. Then rub her nose in your poop. This is the true way to a woman's heart. Do this on Valentine's Day and you're guaranteed to get a blow job. Let us know how it all turns out!


And what kind of day would it be on craiglist if someone didn't throw the race card in?

Choke on this, Honkies
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Date: 2004-01-29, 2:39PM PST
Are you people for real? Should you poo on your girlfriend? Spatulas? Parking Nazis? You are a bunch of certified lunatics, every last one of you. This is my first time on here, and as a proud black woman, I can't
believe my eyes. You TRY to shit on me boy, your dick will be REMOVED. Hit me in the nose with a spatula? I will flip your stupid ass with the spatula and jam it down your throat. I know a bunch of crackas are
writing this ridiculous shit. Y'all are a bunch of zip damn fools.


And finally, after MANY, MANY comments on the 'zip damn fools' comment, one intelligent poster sums it up quite nicely:

Holding My Sides.............
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Date: 2004-01-29, 3:54PM PST
For the love of God, people, STOP IT!!! I can't stop laughing at all this spatula/poo/zip damn fool nonsense............

This has to be one of the funniest days on R&R ever.


... Yes, it was.

I added about 6-8 inches to it tonight. Almost done!

This is the bottom piece which is about 18" wide


This is the piece that will be sewn in half lengthwise, then sewn around the side of the bottom piece. When done it will measure about 57" long.

Now this is an interesting website. I did a search for it after I read that Madonna is going to make a movie out of it. Definitely an interesting read. You'll unfortunately need Real Player to watch the movie clips. It might make a pretty cool movie. Sounded like a crappy experiment to be in for only $15 a day. Although that was probably good money in 1971. Check it out.

On another note, before I forget, I saw Chris Isaak yesterday (Sunday) on Haight Street. I was on my way to Cha Cha Cha to meet everyone on my way back from getting more shoes when I got stuck behind this slow guy and this tall girl. He turned and said something like, "You better watch it young lady or I'll slap the (something or another) right out of you!" Or something to that effect. I was like, "What the?" Then I saw who it was, and realized he was just trying to be amusing. He looked shorter in person, but he definitely has a really distinctive face and pretty eyes. Anyways it was a cool star sighting. Of course having rockabilly friends, I know people that know him or knew his ex or something so it's only a minor star encounter I guess. Still kinda cool! Something to mention.

I'm THIS close to finishing knitting my cat bed. I'll post photos tomorrow of where I'm at.

Okay here's something personal. My boyfriend of 2 plus years and I broke up on Friday. I did the breaking up and now he never wants to talk to me again due to the way I did it. I can understand him being mad but I'm not sure why we can't still be friends. I guess it's too long and complicated to go into here but all I can say is that I'm really sorry that he feels like that and I hope that one day he'll want to try and work out the friend thing.

Suffice to say it's been a bit of a bummer of a weekend. Sucks to lose a friend, someone you've spent the last couple years talking to almost every day. I'm definitely sad about that. On the other hand I'm looking forward to the change and to moving on with my life in other ways. Another friend of mine got dumped by her boyfriend Saturday night. He was in love with her and she wasn't in love with him so he needed to move on. She's sad but it was for the best.

Today (Sunday) a bunch of us went to Golden Gate Park to try and have a picnic. I blame Theo for not checking the weather report first because it totally rained. We wound up reconvening on Haight Street though and I bought 2 pairs of boots and a cute pair of shoes. Yay shoes! We also all went and ate at Cha Cha Cha which was fabulous. I love that place! It was nice to hang out with a bunch of friends even if the weather was crappy. The only lame part was when I got home my tall boots had a weird wrinkle in the leather that I don't like. I'd live with it except when I looked at the other boots I got I realized that they put one type of textured leather in with another. So the style is the same but they don't match! This totally pisses me off because now I have to go all the way back to Haight St. to exchange them. They were the last size left too so they better have the right damn mates at the store!! UGH. I guess if that's the worst thing that could happen to me then I can't really complain too much. It's juts inconvenient and annoying. Particularly since stores on Haight tend to close early.

There's a big party coming up on March 5th that I'm looking forward to. It's a joint birthday party for about 3 people. Should be totally crazy. It's definitely going to be a BIG one. We're already getting ready for it and it's 3 weeks out! My friend Sabine is heading to NYC weekend after next. Turns out a newer friend Dave will be there the same weekend. They both told me to come along. I'm not sure if I want to buy a plane ticket and spend more money right now since I have some stuff I need to pay for. It's SO temping though! I'd LOVE to go.... I'll think about it I guess.

I have to work tomorrow. YUCK.

Yes my blog is Vanilla, but I have no idea what else to post that the whole world is going to want to read and mock me for. Thank you very much!

We need one of these out here in SF. If I was super cool I'd get my shit together and open one. http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=1506&e=16&u=/afp/us_knitting_lifestyle

You're the *pause* "Hunter"...go you!


Which Bjork song are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I wish there was a local stitch n' bitch I could go to. I know there's one in Santa Cruz but it's a bit out of my way. I'd start one up but I'm flakey. I'm really getting interested in making things now though. It's so much fun.

Now that I'm done with my scarf I'm making the Princess Snowball Cat Bed from the Stitch n' Bitch book. I got some help reading the pattern from the Rug and Yarn hut message board on Yahoo groups. I think they're called Knit n' Bitch. I find reading knitting patterns to be particularly hard. I'm glad I found some ladies to explain it to me.

There's a one day soap making class I'd like to go to as well. I used to make soap all the time but I encountered a few issues. 1) Why does the fragrance never last? 2) I suck at layering and embedding, very sloppy 3) Why does the color always fade out? I hope to take the class and find the answers to these questions myself! Making soap and fizzy bath balls is fun and easy though. The only problem is getting all the supplies and it can be a bit messy. I'm definitely enjoying knitting though.

I'm getting ready to get my plane ticket to Paris. I'm shooting for mid June this time. I'm not sure how long I'll be staying, probably 10-14 days. My friend/tattoo artist Sunny will be putting me up while I'm there which is so great. I'll save a lot of money doing that. More money to shop with! Theoretically. :) This time I'm taking my new digicam with me. Plus I can hopefully take a short course on how to take better photos.

You know it's amazing, my dad is a great photographer and can draw well. My mom could paint, sew, craft, sing, play guitar you name it. I can play piano and I suck at just about everything else artistic that there is. You'd think with that much artistic talent I could at least draw? Nope. Even my grandparents on BOTH sides were artistic! My dad's father tooled leather purses, paintings, belts etc. He played Steel Guitar and a bit of fiddle. My dad's mother paints, sews, quilts, knits, plays piano, organ etc. My mom's father was an amazing artist. My mom's mother was an amazing cook (okay I can't think of anything particularly artistic she did). My mom was an amazing cook for that matter.

Here's what I do besides play piano. Cook pretty well, not gourmet per se. I can knit now, just okay though. Same goes for soap making, just okay. Um. I think I'm a left brainer. I work in a techie job and I'm not particularly creative unless it has to do with hair or makeup. Yup, all that creative talent and then there's me. I'm the oddball. Maybe I'm related to the mailman or something. heh. Oh wait, I can decorate funky. That needs work too. Maybe I need more "creative classes".

I found this cool way to generate maps of places you've been from Jenn's blog. I counted places I've only been in for hours or a day as well. Once I drove cross country from California to Michigan with my parens when I was very little. I don't remember the drive at all so who knows what states I was in then. I also drove from Michigan to Maine when I was a kid, which I also can't remember. I just included the states I could remember.



create your own visited country map or write about it on the open travel guide


create your own visited states map or write about it on the open travel guide