Fish Sticks and Green Jello

Why don't you have love in your life?

I do. But I'm looking for something a bit more substantial then my family telling me they love me. While thats nice that doesn't make up for the rest of it. I'm not getting any younger and I think I'm ready for the rest of it now. If that makes any sense.

This post has been removed by a blog administrator.

Eh. Love's complicated. Self-love is where it's at. Haha.

Just so long as you wash your hands.

I took the quiz too.... it's interesting and kinda sad... not only is love elusive, but it's deceiving... i'm not sure, but I'm beginning to think it's a myth.

Regardless, I hope you find it, whereever it finds you.

I guess you could look at it as sad depending on your point of view. I look at it more as that's what I value at this point in my life OVER money, careeer etc. Not what I'm sorely lacking per se... glass half full? :D

What an absolute load. Romantics spend a crap load of time sitting around, alone, thinking up this stuff to explain why they are too picky to meet anyone. Eventually you have to become pragmatic and drop the grand illusions that fill our popular culture (movies, television, songs....etc.etc.). Instead of looking for your "soul mate," you need to find a reasonably (equal to yourself) attractive person and spend a ton of time (over 200 hours) hanging out. This hanging out must include sitting at home eating fozen crap out of the microwave and watching crappy sit-coms. If during this long duration of time your not bored and/or annoyed (angry is o.k. sometimes) ask them to marry you. Being bored and annoyed with someone totally sucks and I don't like stuff that sucks. Romantic love (lust) is kick ass for one night stands and such, but I believe that the glue that holds together a long term relationship is friendship.

No that makes sense. I find that I get into more trouble looking for an ideal or being superficial then I do if I just try to find someone I'm compatible with on more of a friend level. My problem is I need to have that spark too, that excitement. Maybe that's not totally relatistic or long term so I'm screwing myself by feeling like that. Who knows.

But yes friendship is key. Understanding is key. I'm really looking for something mutual. I often find myself in completely one sided relationships. It's depressing. I'm hopeful.

Too bad anonymous posted anonymously...

yeh, you have to find someone you have things in common with so you can stand being with them for years and years. HOWEVER, thats not all there is to love. Wanting romance and passion are not supposed to be illusions and there are some people (not me) who have found their life long mates who they can stand and can have a life long romantic relationship with.

I agree with the point that to find someone to have a long lasting love relationship, you need to find someone who loves you for who and what you are - not pretenses that you put up.

There are many others (me) who have been married many, many, many years (over 20), like very much their spouses (as I do), but yearn for love, romance, and passion. Living your life with someone you really like is a room mate situation, not marriage. It's a hell of a predicament and so while you're comments may apply to some, there are alot of very good people who wind up in one sided relationships. I don't think Marians expectations are not misguided. Being single she can still look for that person she can click with without guilt. Some of us can't without trashing ours and others worlds.

Keep looking Marian. It's gotta be out there for you.

Marian - you made a comment on my blog that you're not sure that people know how to love anyone more than themselves. It may be true. I think it's also true that people don't know how to love who they are and therefor wind up being who other people want them to be and miserable in the end.

just my 1.5 cents

Thanks for the comments dave. I do want to hold out for all the good things. I don't want to settle for a great roomate/friendship type person that I can tolerate on a long term basis. Romance isn't some made up BS, it's real and there's nothing wrong with wanting that.

I know who wrote the anoymous post and of course they wrote that because they married someone that is their friend versus say marry'ing someone that they had huge romantic sparks with. Not that who they married isn't great but they made the safe choice. It's safer to marry someone that's your friend, reliable and dependable then to pursue the person who while you have sparks with may in the end wind up breaking your heart.

That's a personal choice though. Not everyone has to make the same choices.

I very randomly stumbled onto this thing somehow, but I'd just like to say to Marian that it's completely possible to find someone with whom you have sparks and a great friendship. The initial infatuation always wears off, and the friendship is what will sustain your relationship, but there always have to be some kind of "sparks" or essentially you're just friends. I dunno maybe it's harder to find than I'm thinking it is, but my husband is my best friend ever and we're like rabbits. Of course the friendship and romance developed together as opposed to one coming before the other as is usually the case. It's out there. Keep looking.